Mosey in Ship
Mosey's Pirate Crew
|Last Appearance||soon after|
|Country||Middle East (Desert Place with a longing for ocean)|
Pharaoh Ptolemy XII issues a proclamation on the growing threat of Unitarianism. After being marooned on a deserted island by the pirates, Mosey took the initiative: he caught a couple of sea turtles and roped them together with hair from his back to make a raft. He then travailed to the nearest port city, Recency, where he expounded to all the great vision he had had of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FM) . The people, believing this to be a most holy sign, rose up against Blackpool when he next came to the port and destroyed his vast fleet of ships, killing Blackpool himself in the process. Now free of their vicious tyrant, Mosey led the people, his new followers, to a nearby mountain, Mount Salsa, where, at the top, the FSM spoke to Mosey and gave him 10 stone tablets upon which the FSM's wishes were stated. Unfortunately, Mosey dropped two of the stones on the way down the mountain, leaving the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts ". This is believed to be the reason behind his people's flimsy moral standards. Mosey's people became the first Pastafarians, and soon bought a vessel from the Roman Navy, which they deemed a missionary vessel, calling it Lasagne. They began roaming the seas, storming vessels and kidnapping young Romans to be converted; if they did not accept, they would be held for ransom at a ridiculously low price, which no one ever challenged. Sadly, this would be the cause of Mosey's downfall. As a young man, Julius Caesar planned on taking a trip to Greece by sea. Unfortunately for him, the Pastafarians seized control of the vessel he was on in 75 BC (Sanitarian Year 1), kidnapped Caesar, and held him for ransom. Caesar was insulted at the ransom demand, which was disgustingly low, and promised to crucify the crew of the Lasagne after he was free. At his insistence, Mosey raised the ransom demand to a level in accordance with his station: his friends quickly raised the sum. After his freedom was purchased, he assembled a small army, which captured Mosey, along with a few of his closest friends, and crucified him. They then dismantled the Lasagne and sold it for scrap. According to the prophet Ragu, one of those who evaded Caesar's forces, Mosey's last words were, "Die, sir? Why, that's the last thing I'll do!" His body was burned, and his ashes scattered to the four corners of the earth, by the remnants of the Lasagne crew; the first Sanitarian community.